Personal Effectiveness – How to Develop Personality

What exactly is a Personality? We often heard saying, “She/he has a good personality. Well Personality is nothing but characteristic thoughts, behaviours and feelings that are associated with an individual. Basically it is how one attracts others through is deeds and words. An individual could develop his or her personality if he has a goal in mind and he decides firmly that he would develop himself in all aspects of life both internally and externally.

Personality development  is a term which is often misunderstood to be self development and or just limited to enhancing one’s own looks. So it becomes necessary to get a clear picture on what is personality development and what is self development.

Personality development is something which is considered as improving the way we think, feel, behave and carry ourselves. In other words, it is not confined to the improvement of a single aspect of an individual; rather it is about improving an entity or a cluster of qualities which helps in achieving and presenting oneself in a better way. Here are a few tips which could help you improve your personality.

We all have personalities and they all are great. It’s just our behavior that sometimes goes a little off track, so when we talk about improving our personality, we’re really looking at ways we interact with the world and each other and our own responsibility for how we react to any situation and how we exhibit our feelings and our states.

We might find that at some point in life, we are struggling to deal with stuff. We might be feeling emotional or anxious or upset or angry with others in dealing with people badly. The first point to make is we are responsible for outbursts, no one else is.

No one can make you feel angry or make you react in a particular way. You make you react in a particular way. So, we can decide how we respond to the world around us and we have to make better decisions.

So, personalities are driven by our own mind, so just create one that you are happy with and proud of and come from that place. Here are some good tips that will help you create a personality you always wanted. If you are not satisfied and want to improve your personality, just follow some of these simple tips and you will experience an improvement in your personality.

How to Develop Confidence in Public Speaking

Most public speakers stress and struggle about trying to “seem confident” and “look fearless”, irrespective of how they’re feeling inside. But so long as you’re pushing away your fears and nerves, you’re acting, rather than connecting with your audience.

Truly powerful public speaking  starts not with 100% confident public speaking, but with talking from the heart.

Follow the simple steps and become a confident speaker.


Standing up in front of a crowd takes courage.  But it’s all a performance. Never read your presentation, and never recite it from memory.  Instead follow the audience.  Keep to the structure, and please use all the wonderful phrases you came up with in preparation – but if you get the crowd to laugh, and you can think of  way to take the joke one step further go with it.

DON’T read from a script

One of the key public speaking techniques to develop is that of moving away from a full written script. The best lecturers are those who seem to be having a chat with their students and have a lot of material simply at their fingertips.


The secret of success in presentations is practice.  You can practice on your own, or with your partner.  You can volunteer to give every presentation at work until you’re fantastic.

Control your nerves

Confidence comes from knowing your material thoroughly; if you are sure that your speech is relevant and aimed at the right level  then you will feel better about delivering it. Similarly familiarize yourself with the room in which you will speak, so you know where the podium will be, how many will be in the audience and so on. Also it’s important to realize that some nervousness is natural and beneficial to you.

DON’T speak too fast

Linked with being nervous is the problem of speaking too fast. One of the most common public speaking mistakes is to speak at a pace that your listeners find hard to follow. To help you to deliver at a natural pace, try not to simply read from a pre-prepared script. Instead, prepare notes and bullet points and have the confidence to speak from these and your memory. You will speak more slowly and naturally.

Eye contact

The public speaker who doesn’t make regular eye contact with his or her audience will soon lose their interest no matter how brilliant the material is. This is because in one to one conversation we would never dream of not looking at the person to whom we were speaking. All sorts of personal cues can be delivered in this way, conveying impressions such as humour and sincerity.

DON’T forget to use visual aids

Giving presentations or lectures is not just about what you have to say, it is important to present visual supporting material too. Depending on your subject, one of the easiest ways to do this is by delivering a PowerPoint presentation. It is important to get your visual aids exactly right. Do not use too many or they will overwhelm your speech and people will forget what you are saying because they are so curious about the images.

Email Etiquettes

As we expect the etiquettes to be followed while we converse to people, the same should be followed for emails also as it is the most popular form of online communication.

Following are certain tips that we may follow:

1.Write well-structured emails: Do not make an email longer than it needs to be. Remember that reading an email is harder than reading printed communications. Use bullets when possible.

2. Use short, descriptive subjects: This will help the recipient as well as yourself if you ever need to find the email again. If previous email subject lines are used to open a new email, change the subject of the new email to avoid confusion.

3. Use a spelling checker: Embarrassing spelling errors can easily be avoided.

4. Read your email before sending Many people don’t bother to read an email before they send it out. Simply by rereading an email before it is sent out will help you reduce errors and improve the effectiveness of your message.

5. Do not send unnecessary or large attachments via email: If possible include a link to a downloadable document instead. Large attachments (over 10 MB) are highly likely to be blocked along the way.

6. Do not write emails in capitals: Capitals in emails come across as AGGRESSIVE. Usually this is not the intention of the sender, but nevertheless the recipient can be intimidated by use of capitalization.

7. Do not use abbreviations such as OMG and LOL: This is not appropriate for business communications.

8. Do not use cc: or bcc: fields for mailings: Valuable customer contacts can be exposed in this way and your company can face a privacy breach lawsuit. Instead, use company-designated mail merge software.

9. Do not use email to discuss confidential information:: Sending an email is like sending a postcard. If you don’t want your email to be displayed on a bulletin board, don’t send it.

10. Do not use the delivery or read receipt option:: You will irritate the recipient, and the receipt will probably be removed from the email.

11. Don’t send or forward emails containing libelous, defamatory, offensive, racist or obscene remarks: By sending or even just forwarding one libelous, or offensive remark in an email, you and your company can face court cases resulting in multi-million dollar penalties.

12. Do not overuse the cc: field: Try not to use the cc: field unless the recipient in the cc: field knows why they are receiving a copy of the message. Using the cc: field can be confusing since the recipients might not know who is supposed to act on the message.

Grooming for Fitness

It is equally important to look your best when you step off the treadmill. If you work out before the office or at lunchtime, your post-gym grooming regime is the only thing that can save you from returning to work a crumpled, sweaty mess. So here’s a head-to-toe guide to ensure your form is as good outside the gym as it is on the squat rack.

Gym Wear

Have the right gym wear with you as you might not want to exercise in your office clothes or nightwear. Choose the gym wear carefully. It would be good if it is stretchable. It will help you in stretching and exercising without tearing your clothes.


Always opt for sports shoes for gyming or any fitness program as it will help you keep your feet free. Avoid heels or any other stylish shoes.


When you hit the shower, you don’t have to endure an icy blast of cold water to cool off. Pack a mint or menthol shower gel. Just like chilli is naturally hot, mint naturally cools, even when it’s on your skin rather than inside your mouth. It is also important to ensure you don’t immediately start sweating into your work clothes when you’ve dried off.

Sweat increases the rate at which your skin regenerates and flakes away. To avoid dandruffs on your newly-broadened shoulders, include an anti-dandruff shampoo into your routine. If you get out of the shower and you’re still overheating, remember that most of that heat will escape from your head. You just have to let it. That means no thick, clumpy hair products.


After your workout your facial skin also needs certain amount of care as your rest of the body. Tackle redness, unsightly blotches and general sensitivity with a soothing cleanser. Your skin will also have dried out so pack a moisturizer.

After a thorough wash to remove some of the malodorous bacteria causing a stench in your pits, spritz yourself dry. You’ll need a deodorant or antiperspirant that is alcohol free to avoid irritation.

The trouble with sweat, beyond the obvious sting to the nostrils, is that it takes moisture away from your skin. Keep it energized. As well as your face and body, use moisturizer on your hands and you might even skip the calluses that come with weight training. Although, they are badges of pride for lifters so we’ll leave that one to you.

What is Body Language?

‘Body language,’ includes all the communication through the non-verbal channel. This can include how we greet others, how we sit or stand, our facial expressions, our clothes, hair styles, tone of voice, eye movements, how we listen, how we breathe, how close we stand to others, and how we touch others. Misunderstanding of body language may not only cause a long-lasting embarrassment but also be a life threat.

 Here are some tips for powerful body language:-

  • To increase participation, look like you’re listening
    If you want people to speak up, don’t multitask while they do. Avoid the temptation to check your text messages, check your watch, or check out how the other participants are reacting. Instead, focus on those who are speaking by turning your head and torso to face them directly and by making eye contact. Leaning forward, nodding, and tilting your head are other nonverbal ways to show you’re engaged and paying attention
  • To encourage collaboration, remove barriers
    Physical obstructions are especially detrimental to collaborative efforts. Take away anything that blocks your view or forms a barrier between you and the rest of the team.
  • To connect instantly with someone, shake hands
    Touch is the most primitive and powerful nonverbal cue.  In the workplace, physical touch and warmth are established through the handshaking tradition, and this tactile contact makes a lasting and positive impression.
  • To stimulate good feelings, smile
    A genuine smile not only stimulates your own sense of well-being, it also tells those around you that you are approachable, cooperative, and trustworthy. A genuine smile comes on slowly, crinkles the eyes, lights up the face, and fades away slowly.
  • To learn the truth, watch people’s feet
    When people try to control their body language, they focus primarily on facial expressions, body postures, and hand/arm gestures. Since the legs and feet are left unrehearsed, they are also where the truth can most often be found. Under stress, people will often display nervousness and anxiety through increased foot movements.
  • To sound authoritative, keep your voice down
    Before a speech or important telephone call, allow your voice to relax into its optimal pitch by keeping your lips together and making the sounds “um hum, um hum, um hum.” When stating your opinion, use the authoritative arc, in which your voice starts on one note, rises in pitch through the sentence and drops back down at the end.

Formal Etiquettes that should be followed

The role of formal etiquette comes into practice while interacting, mainly with people from different countries, backgrounds or cultures. As cultures differ, the feeling of discomfort may be dominant in such interactions. In such cases, if good etiquette rules are followed, it makes it easier to maintain a comfort level with unknown people.

Formal etiquettes is so involved that there are entire books on it, but there are a few tips for situations in which formal etiquette is required to follow:-

Appropriate Dressing

Appropriate dressing includes a decent attire in sober colors, of course. If the event is before six in the evening, a proper dress code for men would be, a dark suit with a white shirt and a tie. For women, it would be a late afternoon wear or a theater suit. However, if the event is held after six, a black tie, a dinner jacket would be more appropriate. Women can wear an evening gown with matching footwear and jewelry. Carrying a clutch instead of a handbag may look more elegant. It is a must that both, men and women wear polished clean shoes. If the party has a determined dress code, you should dress according to that.

On Arrival

Being punctual is extremely important. Do not make it later than five to ten minutes. On the other hand, do not arrive before time either.  Open the door for the woman first and enter only after she enters the place.  After entering the place where the event is being held, greet people as you meet them. Introduce yourself and the people who accompany you, with the others present at the venue. It would be wise to wait and try interacting with people for a while, after arriving. Do not start eating or drinking immediately after entering.


While greeting a man at the venue, offer your right hand with the palm facing sideways. While greeting a woman, offer your right hand with the palm facing upwards. Gently hold the woman’s fingers and lift it slightly. It is always safe to gift the host with something that matches the occasion. However, do not talk about business matters with the host as soon as you meet them.


Sitting before being asked to be seated, is considered ill-mannered. Wait till the host requests you to be seated. If you are with a woman, make sure you pull out her chair first. Only after having her comfortably seated, make yourself comfortable. When a woman leaves the table and arrives back, the men seated at the table, should stand up.


This is the main part where most of the formal etiquette rules are to be used. Wait for the host to unfold his/her napkin. Thereafter, place your napkin on your lap. The food should always be kept on your left, while the drink should be on your right. While food is being served, do not move your dining plate to the food. Wait until everyone on the table is served, only then start your meal. Also see that you do not make noise by slurping, burping or while chewing your food. Don’t speak while you have a morsel in your mouth. Use appropriate cutlery to lift the food. If you are uncertain as to which cutlery is to be used and how, wait for someone else to use it and then follow them.


Finally, once the event is over, thank the host for the hospitality. If you happen to leave early, or notice that the host is busy attending the other guests, leave him/her a thank you note, or make a courtesy call after the event.

Body Language & Grooming

You have to take care of the important details that create your overall image – such as the way your dress, your grooming, your body language, including etiquette –  you may lose the ability to be in control of the message you want to convey to others and influence how you are perceived by them.

It only takes 5 seconds to form a first impression.  Your grooming habits, for example, speak volumes about you long before you even open your mouth to speak to someone.  A shabby and dowdy person may be perceived by others as careless, disorganized, uncaring and incompetent. A well-groomed person will appear to be more trusting, organized, caring and competent.

 Dress & Grooming for Job Success

Many of us object to being judged for employment based on how we look. We prefer to be hired because of our skills and abilities, not because of our dress and grooming. But like it or not, appearance is important.

Employers hire people they believe will “fit” into their organization. Skills, experience, and qualifications are important, but so are dress and grooming. Your appearance expresses motivation and professionalism. Dress as though you want the job, as though you already have the job.

 First Impressions

Most of us have heard the expression, “A picture is worth a thousand words.” Remember this when preparing to meet with a prospective employer. The picture you create will greatly influence your chances of being hired. Most employers form a first impression during the first seven seconds of a meeting. Your attitude and confidence level are all affected by the clothes you wear. When people take the time to dress for success, they tend to feel good about themselves. Image alone will not win the job offer, but it will go a long way in building respect.


There are no absolute rules regarding dress. Your selection will vary based on your occupation, location and preference. A business suit for a construction job or overalls for an office job would not be appropriate dress. The goal is to look the part, to have your appearance be consistent with your occupation. Neat, clean work clothes would be suitable for assembly, production or warehouse positions. Sales and office positions require business clothes. A conservative suit would be the recommended style for professional and managerial positions.


Personal grooming is just as important as what you wear. You may select the right clothes, but neglecting personal hygiene can ruin the image you wish to present. Review the grooming checklist below before meeting with an employer.

 Goals of Appropriate Dress and Grooming

The primary goal is to “feel good” about the way you look and project a positive image. When you feel good about yourself, you naturally convey confidence and a positive attitude. These nonverbal messages are as important in the interview as the verbal skills you use in selling your qualifications.

Master 5 body mannerisms to magnetize people towards you… Part 1

Many of our mannerisms are subconscious, and we also read other people’s mannerisms subconsciously. What you converse is only leading edge of communication. The rest lies in your body language. The different forms of body mannerisms are essentially the ways that we can convey nonverbal messages.

1. Power of Smiling

Radiant  smile reflects confidence, warmth and trustworthiness. As Dale Carnegie quoted “Use your smile to be an effective communicator”.  WE should wear your hair clean and styled neatly. Smile lightly also when you are being introduced to each member of your panel. With this body language you can build a good rapport Today, when someone smiles, a glum mood is lifted, an apology is accepted, a person’s shaky self-confidence gets a boost, a deal is struck, a physical attraction is communicated . facial expressions simply reflect your feelings, but to some extent they cause them as well. A fleeting smile has the capacity to burrow deep into the subconscious of the person who sees it and set off positive changes from within.

2. Eye contact.

A person’s direction of gaze is significant to engage in a productive communicative session. Very occasionally it’s okay to break it by looking around the room like you’re distracted by something (doing this is a bit of a push). Look into her eyes with a steady relaxed gaze. Hold it. From time to time look away to the side (never down) in a natural unforced way. Eye contact is one of the key components of your non verbal game; keep in mind that it is your non verbal expressions such as your body language, tonality and eyes that are mostly likely to create or kill the attraction. All things being equal; men who hold good eye contact are perceived by women as being more.  Good strong eye contact is an emblematic trait of leaders and powerful men because it is an overt display of dominance.

3. Avoid Fidgeting 

To Fidget  means to make small movements, especially of the hands or feet, due to nervousness, impatience, agitation, or boredom. If you ever find yourself bouncing your leg over and over, tapping your foot, spinning a ring on your finger, or squirming in your chair, you are fidgeting. Whether it’s with a pen, or a piece of plastic, it’s this urge to do something with your hands. It is an unconscious habit that relieves energy but  sometimes it stems from nervousness  and being anxious in interviews, social situations and presentations.  Those  people who make more “incidental” movements — such as repeatedly tapping their feet or getting up to walk to the restroom can also be a relatively healthy way to release nervous energy or creativity

In our next segment, we would be aware of the next body mannerisms.

Impactful Orator / Speaker


Making yourself a powerful speaker is lot easier than you think. Having knowledge on any subject matter is different and delivering it in an impactful manner is a different art altogether. Having that power- in terms of dynamism of your abilities matters greatly in the world of business speeches and presentation. In today’s scenario, people who can do smart work and have excellent communication skills can climb the ladder of success and reach the summit (peak).

From today, think in terms of speaking version of you, a performance persona that is the essence of talking about your subject arar. That is the person, your audiences will find interesting. In other words, it’s not enough just to be who you are when you present. You have to construct a performance version of yourself.

Impactful Orator

1)    Build Rapport

Having a nice equation with the audience, makes things absolutely easy and cake walk for the speaker. The speaker should find a way to identify the audience’s value and experiences and externalize the connection by what you say. Most listeners resist speakers whose background or known views are noticeably different from their own. Remember that our experiences, motivations and feelings unite all of us around the world for more that they divide us. Create an atmosphere in your presentations that fosters persuasion and believability.

2)    Delivery

Every audience arrives with the preconceptions of that speaker. They may have nothing to do with your personally, but may be tied to the topic, organisation or viewpoint to represent. Credibility resides in speakers who appear confident and committed. There is simply no substitute for enthusiasm.

3)    Competence

Advertise your competence in everything you say and do. When you trust yourself and what you are saying, your audience will trust you. That is the first step that allows them to invest you with presence and authority. Every audience wants to feel that they are in good hands. Make it easy for listeners to relax and trust that you are such a speaker. All it takes is for you to trust yourself. Believe that you are a natural performer.


Speaker plays a crucial role in all the aspects. The moods and the emotions of the audiences are totally dependent on the speaker. The ball lies in the court of the speaker, to which direction does he want the audiences to be taken.

Air Travel Etiquettes

Air travel etiquettes play a very crucial role. One must give almost importance to mannerisms, while one is travel in a plane. One must fallow few tips for a hassle free journey:

  • One should carry the baggage in front and should keep it low to the ground as one walks down the sick in search of one’s seat. Holding the bag up or on the sides is inevitable as it may hurt passengers on their arms, shoulders and heads.
  • If one is travelling by plane, one has to wear a deodorant. One should not be subjected to body odor when we are squashed into a confirmed space with limited air flow.
  • One must always make use of armrests, when getting up from your chair, the seat in front of you is never to be used as leverage. One makes use of the armrests given, rather than being of some trouble to the follow passengers.
  • Appropriate travel attire is the key. One must always be dressed as per one’s own comfort zone and should be at ease oneself. Specially, if the journey is long make sure that you dress for yourself and not for people.
  • One should always remember that one owns the window seat and not the window. Be courteous and lower the blind, when your seat meats are trying to sleep.
  • Avoid making enemies out of your fellow passenger. Be very polite and nice to people. One also needs to be very patient during the flight.
  • If there is a large group behind you or for some reason you are getting disturbed, you can ring the call button calmly explain the situation to the flight attendant. It is their job of take care of them gracefully.
  • Avoid carrying too much stuff. If the trip is three days or less, use a carry on bag. Take a few minutes while you pack to carefully plan your wardrobe, so that it fits in your carry on and you can thus avoid wasting for your luggage.
  • The most important keys to building a well-mannered flying society is considering the flight of other fellow passengers. Implement these things risibly and generously. It would ensure smooth and memorable trip.

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